ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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