i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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