Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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