She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize