He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
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Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
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Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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