see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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