she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
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Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
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So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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