turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize