i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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