Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Semen is not good for contacts.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize