Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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