you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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