Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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