oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize