i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I know her cup size but not her name....
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