well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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