the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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