I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize