My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize