Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
there is glitter all over my balls
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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