I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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