I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize