It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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