On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
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you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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