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I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
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