OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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