its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize