I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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