dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize