He asked me if I "almost moaned"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
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She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
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Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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