I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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