first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize