dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
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I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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