U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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