she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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