His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
it's like iHOP with fire
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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