I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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