That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My vagina is very pro this idea
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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