friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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