Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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