You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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