Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize