You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
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I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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