I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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