My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
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Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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