I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize