I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
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I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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