I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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