just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
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You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
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we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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