I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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